BIO: Lance & Harry
Identical twins, Lance & Harry, were born on my neighbor’s porch on a hot August day. Their cat mother, a beautiful but feral gray shorthair, refused to live indoors. One day she went for a mouse and never came back. Her babies were only 3 weeks old. I took the orphans home. They were so tiny I was afraid to sleep with them in case I rolled over on the tiny things, but they wouldn’t sleep anywhere else. I said to them every night, “You have to get BIGGER... B I G G E R.”
Must’ve been hypnotic suggestion. They grew into GIANTS. Lance was built like a racehorse and Harry, like a bear. And they had the personalities to match. Lance, with his aristocratic bearing, soon let us know he was King. Harry, less ambitious, more gregarious, was happy to be #2. (He’s named after Harrison Ford on account of his friendly but slightly concerned expression.) They were my first two cats in my own home, therefore the first in the pecking order they established. You can imagine their disgust at the appearance of this.... this... JOHNNY! who turned the world on it’s ear and took over everything, pecking order be damned.
Lance enjoys catnip, long massages, and disembowelling the paper towels. Harry loves Indian food, and the highest kitchen shelf. Lance disdains to have his picture taken, but Harry will pose for anyone. Both are Leos. Go figure.
You may write Lance at firstname.lastname@example.org. Write Harry at email@example.com. I can’t promise Lance will write you back, but Harry loves to make friends and answers all his fan mail. -JD